Friday, August 10, 2007
Five o' clock in the morning-where you gonna be? ON MY COMPUTER!!!!!
So I woke up this morning at five and couldn't get back to sleep. I didn't go to bed super early, maybe about 11 or so, but I just couldn't get back to sleep. I think it is because my kids are gone, it just feels weird. Anyway, I am going to go to the gym for the first time today. They have a salsa-groove aerobics class that I really wanted to try out and now I just feel like I have all these things I want to do since my kids are with their grandparents and I don't have to worry about who is going to watch them, do I have enough juice, is the stroller in the trunk, you know, mom stuff. I am going to our annual church conference next week and to be honest, I am ambivalent about it. I am soooo excited to go and see all the different people from the different churches, the friends and acquaintances that I have made over the years, but I am a lot heavier than I was the last time we went. Granted I have had twins since everyone last saw me, but that was still over a year ago (geez, where does the time go). I used to laugh when people were doing all this stuff to lose weight before conference and buying all these clothes like I didn't care how I looked but this year I am disgusted with myself. I look like crap all the time because I feel like crap all the time. I won't buy any new clothes because I told myself I wouldn't buy any new clothes until I lost weight but now I regret that because I just don't try anymore and I don't think that is good. I used to take pride in my looks and lately if I got on a clean shirt, I am doing alright. No worries, we don't go there for a fashion show but I know that I should, as a christian and as a woman, put my best face, body, etc. forward. So next year, I resolve to go to conference changed (and I might add for the better).