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Wednesday, August 1, 2007

It's official.....I have joined a gym


Well, I did it. I joined the gym. The price per month is pretty good. Just 20 bucks. I went there with a different plan in mind but darn those pesky sales people! Oh well, I had been wanting to join for a while but I never really did it because I just wasn't sure I was ready to take the plunge and it would sure tick me off to be putting out 20 dollars a month and not using it (hello, that is like 18 double cheeseburgers). It is a women's gym so I don't have to worry about looking hideous next to some buff, bronze, gym bunny (I'll still look hideous, it's just that there won't be anyone there to notice it). What I really wanted was the aerobics classes. I LOOOOOOOVVVVEEEEE aerobics classes. It gives me an opportunity to shake my butt and since I don't go to the club, my life is severely lacking in the butt shaking department. I also like the sauna and the pool but I want the classes. I think that if I enjoy what I am doing, I will be more motivated to go do it. However, I do realize that I need to bring myself into the realm of doing things not because I enjoy them but because they need to be done but hey, one thing at a time. At any rate, I will keep you all posted on the adventures of Big Momma Black in fitnees world............

Thursday, July 26, 2007

My new mission statement.....

OK. So I am sitting in church on wednesday and we had a guest pastor in because my pastor is in Malaysia. He used a quote in his message that totally summed up what I need to focus on in this struggle with my weight. The quote is "Ambition is the path to success but persistence is the vehicle you arrive in." Persistence. Working out even when you feel that it is not working and you see no progress. Persistence. Continuing to deny your urges to eat emotionally even when you have been really good and the situation is really bad. Persistence. Pushing the reset button even when you think you "blew it" and not just saying "Well, I did terrible today and so I might as well go to Baskin Robbin's and have all 31 flavors and blow this weight loss thing to jupiter." Persistence. Something I have been struggling with the last couple of days. What is going to make this time different from all the other times I tried to lose weight "for good"? Persistence. Lord I pray you give me some persistence and some faith that with your help, I can finish this race.

"Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain." 1Corinthians 9:24

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

My one word Meme (whatever that means).....

1. Where is my cellphone? husband
2. Relationship: married
3. My hair: dry
4. Work? everyday
5. My sister? stylish
6. My favorite thing: eating
7. My dream last night: weird
8. Favorite drink: juice
9. Dream car: yukon
10. The room I’m in : livingroom
11. My shoes: none
12. My fears? bugs
13. What do I want to be in 10 years? saved
14. Who did I hang out with this weekend? family
15. What are you not good at? discipline
16. Muffin: blueberry
17. One of my wish list items: make-up
18. Where I grew up? NJ
19. Last thing I did: blog
20. What am I wearing: shorts
21. What are not wearing: shoes
22. Your pets? none
23. Your computer? bootleg
24. Your life: funny
25. Your mood: melancholoy
26. Missing: mom
27. What am I thinking about right now? answers
28. My car? hyundai
29. My kitchen: messy
30. My summer: balmy
31. Favorite color: pink
32. Last time I laughed: today
33. Last time I cried: Sunday
34. School? bleah
35. Love? passion

My log

OK, I was supposed to do this yesterday, but yesterday was a strange day so I am doing it today. :)

8:36 am: Just woke up. I am about to start my day. I have to feed my kids and I have a buttload of cleaning to do and the first thing on my mind FOOD!!! It's like I want it to center me or something, but I am not really that hungry.......

9:31 am: I am actually hungry now. I just fed the kids some peaches and cream oatmeal (you know the ones that come in the little packets) and I want some for myself. The problem is I usually eat 3 or 4 packets but that can't be good.......

11:20 am: I had some oatmeal. I am not really hungry but I am dealing with some business matters and getting frustrated (doesn't anyone hire actual people to talk to you on the phone anymore) and I just want to get something to eat. However, that is not going to make the people take my call. Shucks!

2:32 pm: DEBT COLLECTORS MAKE ME WANT TO EAT!!!!!!!!!

5:55 pm: I just got out of the pool with my kids and they are all washed up and sleeping. I have a lot of cleaning to do but all I really want to do is eat. I guess you can call this feeling overwhelemed?

6:46 pm: Kids are still sleep (thank you God) and I still have that cleaning to do and I still want to eat. This is such a vicious cycle.........

9:41 pm: I am now finally hungry. I was playing some game about chocolates that I downloaded a free trial for and now I want chocolate. I walked to 7 eleven and got one of those Hershey's Cacao Reserve milk chocolate bars (really, they are very small) and I got a ceasar salad. Maybe the good will cancel out the bad, you think?

Monday, July 23, 2007

I am going to give this a shot......

I heard a quote from the author of the book "Lose it for life" and he said that one thing you should do before you eat is write down what you are feeling. Are you actually eating for hunger or are you eating for your emotions? The host of the show that he was a guest on said that she did that for a week and was surprised at the results. Actually, the show was pretty interesting. The show is called "Marriage Uncensored" and you can see the episode here. But I digress, I have decided to take on the challenge. I am going to draft a post, and everytime I think about eating, I am going to write down the time and the why and then post it at the end of the evening. I don't know how many days I am going to do this but I think it should be interesting. Maybe it can inspire you to do the same.......

Sunday, July 22, 2007

A little sef-discipline goes a long way.....

Well, I am almost at a five pound loss. I haven't done much. No exercise yet. Just eating when I am hungry, stopping when I am full (and by full I don't mean pants button popping off and maiming someone across the roon), and recognizing when I am eating for survival or eating to placate my emotions. I will admit that in the past couple of days I haven't had any real tests (well, there was a pint of peanut butter cup ice cream in the freezer today and I did manage to stop myself at just a few spoonfuls) but I am hopeful. If you do something enough, it becomes a habit. I have always been good for the sprint but never a long distance runner. I am aiming to finish this race and run this course for the long haul. Well, it is 2:15 am in my corner of the universe. I bid you all adieu.....

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Father crashes truck, leaves young son to die

You can read the whole story in it's entirety here. The condensed version is this guy is driving in a pick-up with his nine year old son at 1:30 am, he strikes a parked car on the shoulder of the freeway, the boy dies in the crash and he leaves the scene. When the police and the boy's mother arrive to the scene, she says that he called her and told her about the crash but he didn't tell her his whereabouts. The police saw two men watching them from a ways off and, upon questioning them, found out that it was indeed the man they were looking for and his brother. He is in jail and awaiting trial. His charges include drunk driving and manslaughter.
This story aptly shows what our society is coming to. This man was worried about his own hide, left the scene and didn't even think about his son. Now while I am not sure exactly what happened, I can speculate that his son probably didn't die right away and maybe could have been helped. I can only imagine what the mother must be going through. What happens in a society when people don't want to take responsibility for their actions, no matter how dire the consequences? A society where people have little integrity and little character? A society where people have no respect for life?
I began to just type this scripture to put it in here and then as I studied it I couldn't just put it in here but I had to break it down so you could see that it is an EXACT description of our society and that the bible is true:
(the added expalantions are what I gathered from various commetaries)

2Timothy 3: 1-5
"This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be

Lovers of their own selves: Selfish regard of their own interests which interferes with the rights and comforts of others

Covetous: Lovers of money

Boasters: Vain; valuing themselves above all others

Proud: Airy, light, trifling persons; those who love to make a show-who are all outside

Blasphemers: Those who speak of God and sacred things in an unholy way

Disobedient to parents: headstrong children whom their parents cannot persuade or control

Unthankful: Persons without grace, or gracefulness; who think they have a right to the services of all men, yet feel no obligation, and consequently no gratitude; an obvious decline in religion because religion makes us grateful to every benefactor-both God and man

Unholy: Without piety; having no heart reverence for God

Without natural affection : Without that affection which parents bear to their young, and which the young bear to their parents. An affection which is common to every class of animals; Intemperate, fierce - Both too soft, and too hard

Truceebreakers: those who are bound by no promise, held by no engagement, obliged by no oath; persons who readily promise any thing, because they never intend to perform; those who are unwilling to enter into any agreement; that is, either those who are unwilling to be reconciled to others when there is a variance; or those who disregard treaties or agreements

False accusers: Slanderers; striving ever to ruin the characters of others

Incontinent: Literally, “without strength;” that is, without strength to resist the solicitations of passion, or who readily yield to it

Fierce: Ungentle, harsh, severe, and is the opposite of gentleness and mildness; Wild, impetuous, whatever is contrary to pliability and gentleness

Despisers of those that are good: Not lovers of good men; Those who do not love the good must be radically bad themselves

Traitors: Any one who betrays - whether it be a friend or his country; those who deliver up to an enemy the person who has put his life in their hands

Heady: Headstrong, precipitate (hasty), rash, inconsiderate;
ready to do anything without deliberation, or concern for the consequences

High-minded: Inflated with pride or self-conceit; frivolously aspiring; those who are full of themselves, and empty of all good

Lovers of pleasure more than lovers of God: They live for pleasure; they have no serious pursuits; they brook no restraints which interfere with their amusements, and they greatly prefer the pleasures to be found in the gay assembly, in the ball-room, or in the place of low dissipation, to the friendship of their Creator; pleasure, sensual gratification, is their god; and this they love and serve; God they do not

Having a form of godliness but denying the power thereof: They profess religion, or are in connection with the church but oppose the real power of religion; not allowing it to exert any influence in their lives. It imposes no restraint on their passions and carnal propensities, but in all respects, except in the form of religion, they live as if they had None; those who have all their religion in their creed, confession of faith, catechism, bodies of divinity, etc., while destitute of the life of God in their souls; and are not only destitute of this life, but deny that such life or power is here to be experienced or known

and from such turn away"

Now, if that isn't a desciption of our society as showcased by this article, I don't know what is.